Pet Peeves?

denisee · Guest

What really "gets under your skin" during a hunt? What would you like people to avoid?

skyee23 · Posted: Thu Jun 02, 2005 4:23 pm Post subject:

My pet peeve when on a hunt is going with people who are really loud and are always cracking jokes about the dead or something thats not funny at all. I like to go with people who take this seriously, I like to go to see if I can get good pics, evp, etc. Not to goof around. According to my babies they think thats my work, thats the way I look at it not just a hobby but work, work you enjoy doing.
Ok there is my .02 cents, sorry for the rambling!!!!
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Wackywizjr · Posted: Thu Jun 02, 2005 7:50 pm Post subject:

My pet peeve is people not respecting the dead.
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ghostgeek · Posted: Thu Jun 02, 2005 11:13 pm Post subject:

Self-righteous attitudes. People that purport to be “experts” in this field have just demonstrated what non-experts they really are. Smile

Large groups. It’s just impossible to do any serious research with more than a handful of people. It turns into a free-for-all and impossible to gauge who is where or who is talking. I know we go out after the meetings in large groups, but I write those off in advance as a bust.

People who ask for an opinion on a photo or video/audio clip, then get bent when you debunk it in a professional manner. Please don’t ask for an opinion if you don’t want to hear it’s not a “ghost”.

Vandalism of cemeteries. I just will never understand where the thrill comes from in defacing or destroying someone’s grave.

skyee23 · Posted: Thu Jun 02, 2005 11:27 pm Post subject:

Oh dont get me wrong I am guilty as charged as well. I mean more to the people who are just overly disrespectful, like they really dont care these people are dead. I crack jokes as well, I dont go all serious and up tight but I also dont go to goof around. I want to go to find something or try to atleast. I guess I just worded that post wrong. Sorry!!!
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ghostgeek · Posted: Thu Jun 02, 2005 11:42 pm Post subject:

TawnaMoon · Orb Joined: Jun 04, 2005 Posts: 65 Location: Georgia

..People that do not take this kind of stuff seriously.
People that like to conjur up spirits. This is not a game. This is VERY REAL.

I knew someone that used the OJJA board. Not sure how much they used it. Their neighbor observed through their window when they were not at home one night the furniture moving! Scarrry Stuff!

OMG!!!

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TawnaMoon · Orb Joined: Jun 04, 2005 Posts: 65 Location: Georgia

scarfyrre · Orb Joined: Jan 13, 2005 Posts: 93 Location: Alpharetta

My biggest pet peeve is with myself. I'm a sensitive and I have the hardest time explaining what I am feeling. Sometimes I get 'pictures' and 'voices', but when I feel a spirit it's physical. I'm learning, though.

Another is how some (not my group) are overly respectful. And I mean to a point where they become ridiculous. It's ok to step on graves, make the occaisonal joke at the living's expense, treat the spirit as an equal. Know what I mean?

I like to think any spirits hanging around a cemetery are there to meet us. I don't feel, in my 'psychic' experiences, that they are trapped there alone, but instead 'see' us visiting and come to visit themselves. I also like the Victorian ideal of a cemetery. A place to visit but not to mourn too sorrowfully.

Spirit as an equal means I'm just polite. I was raised the old-fashioned Southern way with 'sir' and 'ma'am', thank you, please, nice to meet you, etc. I'm going to treat the spirits I meet as I would any other living stranger.

This isn't work, but rather it's study and socializing. I go to learn, but I also go to meet new 'people'. If my work ever became cold, boring, overly-serious, I'd have to find a new vocation.

ThisBodiesLife · Mist Joined: Nov 08, 2004 Posts: 174

My pet peave is the ghost not making an evp easier to hear
Clown

OK everything els was taken so I went out on a limb Clown

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scaredycat · Mist Joined: Oct 24, 2004 Posts: 262 Location: Riverdale

My biggest pet peeve is setting up and investigation and the other people not showing up. That just really irritates the hell out of me.

ghostgeek · Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2005 7:53 pm Post subject:

Wackywizjr · Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2005 6:58 am Post subject:

I just went to the pet shop and they have a whole new load of Peeves for anybody that wants one. Razz

I tend to disagree with you about the stepping on graves thing, I would not come into you home and walk across your bed.

Plus there is a slight safety factor thing, graves have been known to violently collapse when the casket gives way. (Yes I have stepped on the edge of a grave and had my foot disappear up to my knee.)

The lawn mowing thing is okay to me because that is maintaining the resting place. Just taking a shortcut across grandma's face is rude to me.

JMO

Thanx
Sean
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wingedguy · Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2005 12:12 pm Post subject:

okay -it's my turn...lol

this is not actually a peeve, just a continuation of the grave-walking thing...

when I have my hair cut or when I <GASP!> clip my nails I don't regard this "tissue" as personal anymore -it's no longer a part of me. I go on without it. I am separated from it. I discard it and go on with my existence.

I believe at death this is the same process -the spirit or soul leaves the flesh and remains in an active and cognitive state, whereas the body is left lifeless and begins to decay. that is why embalming must be performed within a certain amount of time after death in order to preserve and delay the body from the inevitable and noticeable decaying process.

I don't believe that ghosts have a real connection with their decaying tissue -it is like the fingernails or hair clippings -no one goes out and pulls them out of the trash and says, "this is me!"

I do think their spirit may or may not want to be recognized (depending on the personality) and respected because that is an innate human quality we have in life. We often want people to know we exist and want them to know who we are. Maybe that is why sometimes encounters with spirits lead the hunter to the body of the deceased -they want someone to finally find out what happened to them and recognize their death and realize their spirit is STILL around -not regard the dead body as actual existence of the person.

further evidence of this separation is supported by the premise that ghosts often travel a great distance from their resting place, sometimes, if they ARE sighted, they are in a completely different place than their grave.

so disrespect of the grave -that is disrespect to the person. if something is done intentionally to "dis" the person it would be just as offensive to the dead spirit as it would be to the living one.

I guess, as a rule, the walking thing in itself is not offensive as long as it is done without intentional disrespect to the soul of the one who's remains lie below.

think about it -which would you want people around you to acknowledge, your soul.... or your hair and nails?!
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Angji · Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 3:32 pm Post subject:

hi everybody evreybodies doing well.

Well i have afew but not alot.

I personally only a few.... pet peeves . people who were heavy colone then say it is a spirits. Then people smoke while on investigation then cliam it is a mist.

I hate it when people make fun of it when your on a hunt with them like it is one big joke.

Iguess that is about it.

Some graves there hard to not to step on?
Oh yeah when they see a spirit and they take off?
I'm like is that not what were there fore?
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ThisBodiesLife · Mist Joined: Nov 08, 2004 Posts: 174

Actually the respect to the graves should go to the family members that are still living or the ghost that still has an attraction to his/her body. You cant please everybody but you can try to be nice and on the occasion we step on them because it is something just un avoidable. I think most people try not too. everyone im with goes out of there way to side step them. It should be automatic if you know its there. People do fence off the family plot but I can make a guess tha most people dont because the option wasnt given to them or they cant afford it.
Dead people are seriouse...It is seriouse. This is rediculouse that anyone would think its not. Respect respect respect...Its not just a word you know...these people actualy died and they are dead family members to real people who still love them and are still hurting and are still wishing they were here with us. It can be a fun socialble thing or a interesting research to you if you like but please respect.

To wingedguy;
you got to think,,,if it was your son or daughters grave and you seen people tromping on it to see if you can get a evp, you would be pissed. I know I would be ass kicking mad if someone other than family members was walking on my son or daughters grave.
We as humans have this funny little attraction to our loved ones body even after they are dead. (sarcastic remark)
dead hair and nails I dont give a damn I dont want anyone degrading it because they have a facination with ghosts or any other reason.

Please have respect for the living as well as the gravesite.
the peeve I guess is that this is needed to be said. I probably shouldnt be typing right now because I allowed myself to have a bad day. uggghhh.[/i]
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Peace is more than the absence of war.
Si vis amari, ama - If you wish to be loved, love. (Seneca)

wingedguy · Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2005 10:56 am Post subject:

TBL -

you missed my point. perhaps you should read it again.
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ThisBodiesLife · Mist Joined: Nov 08, 2004 Posts: 174

wingedguy · Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2005 2:50 pm Post subject:

TBL -

Itsch okay. we're all good. Smile

hope your day is better tomorrow.

chris
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denisee · Guest

Thanks to everyone who replied. It's an interesting topic.......

My 2 cents....... The fact is, *I* feel badly when I realize that I've stepped on a grave. There have been times when I've been to cemeteries where the headstones have long since washed away and only a footstone remains barely there, or vice versa. The fact is, sometimes it's hard to tell. And at night, things are all that much more difficult.

I believe we should be respectful. But not because I believe that all ghosts are attracted to/connected to their bodies, but because in being respectful, it might make a ghost more apt to want to communicate with us.

I know I have no desire to communicate with anyone being disrespectful towards me.

Very Happy

scarfyrre · Orb Joined: Jan 13, 2005 Posts: 93 Location: Alpharetta

Perhaps I'm more blase about stepping on graves, but I don't think it's that big of a deal, and I've never once had a spirit yell at me about it.

But let me explain a bit more...

Not only am I a ghost hunter/psychic/blossoming medium, but I'm a taphophile. I have this strange love of cemeteries. They're so peaceful and beautiful, especially the Victorian ones, that I spend hours walking around. I study Victorian symbolism in headstones, enjoy the art of carving them, and even try to figure out the people's histories. Obviously, I have nothing but love and respect for the final resting place of most people.

For centuries the carvings on headstones were on the back so one did not have to step on the graves to read what was written. Eventually, the practice changed to what we know today, and that's with the carvings on the front of the stone. It is almost necessary to step on graves to read the stones so the people are remembered.

So, I have yet to have the spirit of someone's grave talk to me to get off of it. As long as nothing vile is happening, which includes defacing headstones, it really is fine. Safety is another issue in places like Devil's Turnaround, but walking on the is not disrespectful. It's more of a horror to not get to know those buried there and say a hello.

And remember, this is from someone who loves cemeteries and therefore has nothing but absolute respect for not only the area but also for the people there. Shame they weren't more like Victorian parks. I think the dead would like nothing better than to see the living enjoy the lovely space with a picnic. I know when I take my son with me I've felt some joy in the area, as if they could sense the energy from a happy child. Smile

ghostgeek · Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2005 10:11 pm Post subject:

Wow - looks like we've got a "hot one" here...

WW - sure you can walk across my bed all you like! Remove your shoes first please! Razz

I'd prefer if I was not in it at the time, unless you are going to "pop" my back for me too. Clown

To those who find standing on graves disrespectful... If I told you the number of graves you people walk on in most cemeteries, you'd probably never set foot in one again. Many cemeteries have numerous unmarked graves. My own brothers grave was unmarked for about 5 years till we could afford to get him a marker.

Here in Atlanta, there is a large Victorian cemetery called Oakland. Inside, there is what appears to be a huge, vacant, grassy field. At first glance, one might be inclined to think its reserved for additional expansion of the cemetery, but one would be wrong. Its a potters field - hundreds of thousands of Atlanta’s poor (mostly slaves and former slaves) that could not afford their own grave are buried shoulder to shoulder, head to foot here. Obviously all unmarked, save for a single monument in their honor. No fence around it, and Oakland does not discourage anyone from walking thru here. In fact, go there on a summer day, and your likely to see people having a picnic lunch, or playing Frisbee there.

I have to ask... Should everyone stay out of this beautiful field and not enjoy it (as the cemetery clearly wants people to)? Is it only disrespectful to stand on the grave of someone who could afford a marked grave? At what point do we draw the line?

Here's another problem. Some cemeteries have markers that are head stones and some have all markers as footstones. As the names imply, they will be called either or, depending on where they are placed on the grave. If they are footstones - no problem. You can stand right in front of the marker to read it, and you are not standing on anyone’s grave. However if the marker is a headstone, it is placed at the "head" or top of the grave. In this instance, if you approach a grave to read the marker, unless you are standing off to the side, you are right on someone’s grave.

Different cemeteries have different policies regarding headstone monuments and footstones. Where my brother is buried for instance, the policy is that they are all bronze footstones - which is becoming more common. But often you don't know - especially in older cemeteries where you can no longer see the outline of any graves.

However where he is buried, there are no walking paths to get to his grave. When we buried him, the funeral party just rolled the cart carrying his casket right thru the middle of this section; only moving to avoid flower arrangements on other graves. You really cannot avoid walking across many graves to get to his. Its just the way it is.

Obviously I'm not going to change anyone’s mind one way or the other, and that’s not my intention. If one finds it "disrespectful" or feels uneasy about walking on someone’s grave, then of course they are entitled to go out of their way to avoid them. But in our field of research - which of course involves being in cemeteries at night a lot - and considering the layout of most cemeteries, it is unavoidable that you are going to step on many, many graves. As I stated earlier, just because we can and do step on graves does not mean one should start doing the mambo on someone’s resting place! Dance

But I also don't think one needs to feel ashamed if they accidentally step someplace, or need to step on someone’s "head" to read a badly weathered grave marker.

Be respectful of cemeteries - not paranoid!
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ghostgeek · Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2005 10:20 pm Post subject:

wingedguy · Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2005 9:29 am Post subject:

mama wouldn't let us jump on the beds...but dad would! lol

to reiiterate the point made that the living have a fondness for "memorial" for their dead is an amazing thing. take a look at all the roadside memorials throughout the United States -it seems almost morbid that one wants to mark the tree where their loved one met his death on the side a highway, but that is the emotional attachment some people have to death. I often wonder is there an equal reverance shown to the happy parts of the person's life through communal involvement or through expressed times of fond remembrance.

in the countries of Russia and Greece, the roadside memorials are everywhere! either these countries have a really bad drivers' education program or a terrible highway safety program; none the less, something really morbid attracts these people to celebrate the "death" scene.

In Russia, reverance to the memorial is an actual art. people go to these memorials as one would go to an amusement park. sadly, the celebration is not in a time of fond remembrance of the person when he was living and healthy, but instead is centered on the morbid situation of death. I just don't get it!
strangely enough, the traditional act of a wedding party is to have their WEDDING PHOTOS done at a memorial to the dead,of all places -not by a stream or pond or even in a pretty park with flower gardens. they pose by a marble or concrete death memorial!

here's a thought -wouldn't it be a better thing to memorialize the best parts of the person's life at the place where they were happiest or in a place where they were not sick or suffering? it seems that this would be the rule, but sadly it is not. people seem to actually like to look at highway crosses and smashed cars. I am amazed at this behavior.

on the whole infatutation to the grave thing:

I personally believe cremation is the best choice for internment because of the ease of "placement" of the remains, the allowance for the loved ones to plan a funeral at their own timing, and for a large part, the ease of allowing the remains to be scattered in various places of fond remembrance of the deceased. to me, this is a celebration of the LIFE and the LOVE of the one passed over, a chance to allow the person to become part of the places he endeared the most. I have a friend who died a few years back after surviving countless physical odds against him. he was cremated and part of his ashes were placed in a playground at a camp where he loved to "get away" during the summer. this choice was a fitting act of love for him because he was stricken physically in life and was not able to play the playground as a child. Instead, he had to watch other kids play and dream of the simple joy of swinging on the monkey bars. his loving memorial leaves the family with the thought that he NOW is made perfect and is playing in a park with all the other disabled kids who have passed away.

this brings up another problem with the theory of expressed rudeness of those who merely walk on the graves of the departed -what about those who are cremated? some people have been buried at sea or their ashes thrown on the sand of the beach -is it then proper to use this approach of "sterile grave" and say, "beach closed-no swimming!" or " no walking on the sand!" surely not! the intent of the deceased was to be given to a place of their personal enjoyment. it would be ludicrous to say that these areas should be forbidden for trampling, and yet apply that rule to a cememtary. yet, they are graves...

remains of the formerly living are all around us. for thousand of years the living have died and in many cases remain where they fell. we know that the body returns to dust and becomes a part once again of the earth, water and air.

in some ways this is a comforting thing to think of when facing death. in the natural process, the person becomes part of the continual cycle of life.

what better way to celebrate one's life than to continue to be a part of LIFE in some way forever!
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denisee · Guest

The more I post, the more those of you reading me will realize that I do not express myself well.

What I was trying to say, is that the feelings I have when I am in a cemetery obviously come from my own upbringing.

However, it is NOT a pet peeve of mine when other people walk on/stand on/dance on graves.

Having lost my Mom, I can admit that I have lied down on her grave to talk to her. We have also shared